Getcher Gmail
I have a four more Gmail invitations to give away so I’m opening up bidding for them. The price is a joke. Good joke, bad joke, doesn’t matter.
I gave a few away on Craiglist recently (they should be paying me for all this free publicity, shouldn’t they?) and actually got a halfway decent joke out of it. Here ’tis, just to get you started:
Q: Why couldn’t the littlest pirate get into the movie?
A: It was rated Arrrrr!!!!!
Want a gmail invite? Post a joke in my comments.
Go.
Keeping with the pirate theme: Kid with a speech problem goes trick or treating as a pirate….he goes up to a door and the guy at the door says “so, what are you?” The kid replys “I’m a piewat.” Guys says “a what?” Kid says “a piwat!” Guys says, OH, a pirate!! Where’s your buccaneers?” Kid says “On my buckinhead!”
A man is floating in a hot air balloon, when he realizes suddenly he has no idea where he is. He sees a woman in an adjacent balloon, and asks her “Hey! Do you know where we are?” She says “Yes, we’re at 23 degrees longitude and 42 degrees latitude, floating at a speed of 35mph.”
He says “You must be in Information Technology!” She says “Yes! How did you know?” He says “Well, everything you told me was technically correct, but it didn’t make any sense, and in fact wasted my time, so now I’m worse off than before!” The woman says “Ah, you must be in Management!” He says “I am! How did you know?” She says “Because you have no idea what you’re doing, you got here primarily on hot air, you expect everyone else to solve your problems for you, and now, even though I just met you 5 minutes ago, your problem is somehow my fault!”
Apparently this woman’s miniature schnauzer had an infection in its ear. The vet told her that it was due to an ingrown hair and that the best treatment would be to remove the hair with a depilatory cream. The women went to a drug store and asked the druggist for assistance in selecting an appropriate product. He went on about how some were better for use on legs and how some were gentler and better for removing facial hair. He then said, “May I ask where you intend to use this?”
She replied “Well, it’s for my schnauzer.”
He said, “OK, but you shouldn’t ride a bike for two weeks.”