I was meeting with the Sales Manager today when the receptionist rang through to announce that a job applicant was waiting to see him in the lobby. His first question: “Is she wearing shoes?”

He later showed me an “application” he once received that he keeps pinned to his corkboard. It came in an envelope addressed in pen to “Reseum” as the recipient at the station’s address. The “reseum” consisted of a single page torn from a 3×5 wire-bound memo pad with the applicant’s neatly handwritten name, address, telephone number, and the Sales Promotion position she was interested in.

She didn’t get the job.

At the tender age of 40 I finally made my first political contribution, to Howard Dean’s campaign. Following is the “thank you” email I got today. I know it’s a mass-mailing that went out to thousands of other people too, but I still got a warm fuzzy from it. I stepped up and am helping to make a difference, no matter how small. I want my country back, and I’m doing more than just talking about it.

Dear Chuck,

Yours sincerely,
Howard Dean

It’s hard being a smart biker. I’m not saying I’m the Stephen Hawkings of the motorcycle world, but I do think I’m one of the sharper knives in the drawer. Especially the biker drawer. It’s almost physically painful to me how dumb some of my fellow bikers are.

There’s a message board I frequent where motorcycling issues are discussed, and it’s there that I suffer the most. I can look past the knee-jerk conservative reactionary bullshit most of the time, but it pains me to have to decipher their text. These are some guys who simply should not be allowed near a keyboard. The written word is not their friend. The following is a recent post from this message board:

Catherine Zeda Jones Comercial roadi

I saw my bike on this commercial. It is for BT cellular phones. My bike is the one in the living room behind the couch with the huge looking biker on it. also in the last shot when the guy is riding the bike threw the house, mine is the one in front of the row of the bikes in the background pretty cool. I know have pictures of my bike in the film industry they paid me 500.00 doll, maybe�I can recoup some of the cost of the endless mods, Has anyone seen it? we don’t have many US stations

I swear, it hurts me to read this garbled mess, and this was one of the more literate posts. Et almos maks me knot wanto rode ennymoore.

So Schwarzenegger is apologizing now for being an asshole. What a scumbag. Laughing it off and denying it didn’t make it go away, so now he’s apologizing. The fact that this shows him up as a liar probably won’t occur to anyone stupid enough to buy the apology.

I’m a fan of his movies, but the fact that this guy is the front-runner for any political office is mind-boggling. For me, it’s just more evidence of how cynical and self-absorbed the Republican party has become. Screw running the candidate who’s best qualified, they’d rather run the candidate who’s most likely to win despite the fact that he’s least qualified. It’s all about “Just win, baby!” and screw the people.

The election is the point for them, when really the point is what happens after the election. The office in question is called Governor, not Winner.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Elvis tattoo has left the building!

Oh look, it’s another of my favorite mid-travel entries where I post from a kiosk in an airport. I know you guys love these entries so much … or is that me?

Anyway, I’m in Dallas right now, leaving for LAX in about an hour. My original itinerary had me flying to Burbank, but my flight out of Ft. Smith was overbooked and they were offering $250 travel credits to get off, so I got off. The plane, that is. The flight was delayed and I was probably going to miss my Dallas connection anyway (my bags surely would have), so they actually paid me to do me a favor and put me on a later flight anyway.

The next connecting flight to Burbank out of DFW was at 6:30 tonight, so I opted for the 1:30 to LAX. That’s one of the benefits of living in a major metropolitan area. After two weeks in Arkansas, I think 20th Century dentistry is surely another.

Beth was planning to surprise me by picking me up at the airport, but I’ve foiled that plan once again. I keep switching flights or missing them or getting delayed or whatever so that she keeps not being able to surprise me. It’s getting to the point where my big surprise is going to be that she’s even at home waiting for me.

Okay, 2 minute left on my $4 investment in writing this entry. I give and I give and I give and what do I ask in return? Nothing. But my birthday is coming up and the 2003 Harley Davidson Road King Classic comes in just my size, so if anyone wanted to show some appreciation…

What kind of person takes pictures of a bathroom and then posts them in his weblog? My kind.

This is the mens room in the Fort Smith, AR airport. Marble tiled walls, floral arrangements on the counter, overstuffed lounging chairs, a 3-way mirror just out of frame on the right… It’s the nicest bathroom I’ve ever seen anywhere — it was nicer than some restaurants I’ve eaten in. It’s so lux, I was surprised there was no attendant on duty, and I half expected a waiter to show up with a menu. I felt like I was in the Manhattan Four Seasons, only I’ve been there and I can tell you their bathrooms aren’t this nice.

The only thing I didn’t like was those chairs. What’s up with that? Do they really want to entice people to hang out in the bathroom all day? I was tempted to do it just to see if Security would hassle me.

Yes, I know I’m a freak for taking and posting this picture. But I was already a freak anyway, so being a big fan of this bathroom can’t make it any worse.

Every once in a while I manage to take a halfway decent picture. This morning’s effort is, I think, a little more than halfway.

Oh good Lord. Our Customer Support Department is running amok and has declared this week to be “Customer Service Week.” Which apparently means annoying the fuck out of me.

The office is festooned with balloons (one obnoxious display is right next to my cube — I think I’ll pop a few before the day is over) and my Inbox is overflowing with emails about how fabulous we all are, how fabulous the celebration is going to be, and how fabulous it is to be fabulous.

Ack.

Via email, this is today’s agenda for the Customer Service Week bullshit:

We’re off to an excellent start! We hope that everyone enjoyed the kick-off breakfast, decorations, and festivities. This was only the first day of the weeklong celebration of (Company Name) excellence!

Special notes:
Have you guessed ?who?s-who? in Customer Support?s Baby Picture game yet? Visit the ?main isle? of Customer Support!

This week looks like an excellent time to use any and all vacation time I have saved up.

The next Governor of California? Not with my vote.