Bring your own fork

September 27, 2007 - Thursday

 Marriage in Practice

I love my wife. I’d do just about anything for her. She’s always on me about my health, so I quit smoking for her a couple years ago, and back when we were trying to get pregnant I quit hot-tubbing because the doctor said the hot water was cooking my spermies. So I make sacrifices, see?

Especially in my TV viewing. When she’s not in the room I watch guy stuff like World Poker Tour and Ultimate Fighter and World’s Wildest Police Chases — you know, quality viewing. When she’s in the room it’s ChickFlick Central: Top Chef and Project Runway and Grey’s Anatomy. Sacrifices.

But last night… Last night was big. The Grey’s Anatomy spinoff, Private Practice. I’ll admit it, I’m not proud: I watched it. Sacrifices. Big ones. But a man has limits. Sometimes you have to put your foot down, draw the line, take a stand. Well, this is it: I will NOT watch that steaming pile of Shondaland ever again.

And Dancing with the Stars is right out, too.


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September 11, 2007 - Tuesday

 9/11 + 6

Twin Towers

I look at where we are, at what we’re becoming, and two verses from the Talking Heads Once in a Lifetime runs through my head:

And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!

and

And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go to?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right? …am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself
My god!…what have I done?

This is not my beautiful country anymore. Like I said last year: They’re Winning.


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I'm the guy your mother didn't bother to warn you about.

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