Bring your own fork

March 31, 2006 - Friday

 The View From Coral Gables

So, yeah, Curaçao. Looking out the window, it looks a lot like Coral Gables, FL. Exactly like Coral Gables, in fact. Because we’re in Coral Gables, not Curaçao. At the Coral Gables Holiday Inn, in fact, and we’re here because we missed our connecting flight to Curaçao in Miami.

I could have booked us on a 6:30 a.m. flight with a 2.5 hour connection window, but no, I thought the 9:00 flight with the 45 minute window would work better because we wouldn’t have to get up so early. So we slept a little bit later this morning and then when we got to the airport we waited 2 hours for our flight to take off because something broke and they had to fly the part in from Las Vegas. The 6:30 flight would have gotten us to Curaçao right on time and I’d be writing this entry from there, and all the 9:00 flight got us was an extra hour or two of sleep and a comped room at a run-down Florida Holiday Inn.

Take my word for it: there’s no comparison.

But let’s continue my “view from here” tradition anyway, shall we? Here’s the view:

Coral Gables, FL

And here’s the room.

Coral Gables, FL

And because this is a family vacation, here’s Beth and Zoe living the life in Coral Gables:

Beth & Zoe, Curaçao Vacation Day 1: Coral Gables, FL


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March 30, 2006 - Thursday

 A Watched Clock Never Boils

I think the clocks here at the office are broken. My watch too, and the system clock on my laptop. They all seem to be moving backwards. It’s been 37 hours since my last post, but it’s only 2:15.


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 The Longest Day

Djan karet – “The hour that stretches.” I’m living that hour today. Eight of them, in fact. I’m in the office, at work, for 8 long, stretching hours. They’re stretching because at the end of them, on the other side, is 10 way-too-short days of this:

Curaçao

Curaçao. In the western Caribbean, just off the coast of Venezuela, with some of the best scuba diving around, it’s my favorite place in the world and I haven’t even been there yet. We’ll be there for ten days and we’re leaving tomorrow morning. It hurts me that I’m not there already.

Come on, clock. Move!


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March 23, 2006 - Thursday

 Mixed Messages

I just got some spam offering me generic Cialis and Viagra “SOFT”.

I’m confused. Doesn’t that defeat the purpose?


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March 17, 2006 - Friday

 Oafs Of Office

Last week in Annapolis at a hearing on the proposed Constitutional Amendment to prohibit gay marriage, Jamie Raskin , professor of law at American University, was requested to testify. He did so.

At the end of his testimony, a right-wing senator said: “As I read Biblical principles, marriage was intended, ordained and started by God — that is my belief. For me, this is an issue solely based on religious principals.”

Raskin: “People place their hand on the Bible and swear to uphold the Constitution; they don’t put their hand on the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible.”

…via onegoodmove via WayneBesen.com


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 How To Not Break The Bank, Republican Stylee

WASHINGTON — The U.S. Senate on Thursday approved a $781 billion increase in the federal government’s debt limit, the fourth time lawmakers have raised the cap since President Bush took office.

Uh oh, the deficit is getting out of control. Must be time for another fat-cat tax cut…


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March 6, 2006 - Monday

 The View From Norcross, GA

Greetings from Norcross, GA, a suburb of Atlanta, just 15 miles from the cradle of the birthplace of the finest restaurant in all the land. Waffle House got its start just 15 miles from here. I’m so close, I can almost feel the grease afterbirth dripping off of me.

I celebrated my first night here by pulling over at Unit 828 for a meal of a Texas Cheesesteak sandwich plate with the hashbrowns scattered, smothered, covered, and chunked. (I passed up the “topped” because, good as it is, I just don’t have that much antacid with me this trip.) It was goooood.

My hotel is… eh. They “upgraded” my room, which I guess means I got a fireplace that doesn’t work. I also got two double beds instead of the king I always ask for, and a room on the ground floor instead of on a high floor like I always ask for (the better for “view from here” pictures, my dear). But there are nine Waffle Houses in a three mile radius, so ain’t nothin’ botherin’ me.

Here’s the view:

Norcross, GA

And here’s the room:

Norcross, GA

You see the chair in front of the fireplace? That chair tried to kill me last night. It’s a La-Z-Boy type chair, and I’m all about chairs that recline and prop my feet up for me. I’m so all about them that I reclined this one allllll the way back while I was on the phone with Zoe last night, and about a half-second after I was marveling over how far back this particular chair let me recline, I realized that the stupid thing was tipping over and I was “reclining” even further and faster on a trajectory that was going to land me right on top of my big fat pumpkin head with my ass in the air and my feet against the wall behind me. Which is exactly what happened.

Who says business travel isn’t exciting?


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March 2, 2006 - Thursday

 Friendly Neighborhood Crack Dealer

The crack was delivered to the office today: Girl Scout Cookies. Evil in a box.

I ordered: Do-Si-Dos – 2 boxes, Trefoils – 2 boxes, Samoas – 1 box. And because I’m an idiot who can’t fill out order forms right and accidentally ordered Trefoils instead of the beloved Thin Mints, now I’m trying to buy 2 boxes of Thin Mints from a co-worker who managed to order them correctly and might be willing to make a profit on her deal.

Five boxes of Girl Scout cookies are on my desk. Two more boxes may join them soon.  A fresh pot of coffee is brewing in the kitchen. Let the gorging begin.


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Charismatic misanthrope.

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