It’s a good thing I shave my head, because I’d be pulling my hair out today if I didn’t.

It’s a good thing I trim my nails, because I’d scratch my bald head bloody trying to pull my hair out today if I didn’t.

My station gave us free tickets to a Hootie and the Blowfish concert tonight, but I decided not to go. I’m still not sure why; I guess I just didn’t give a Hootie.

Lance said it was because I was afraid. I told you I’d never live that roller coaster thing down…

A rare funny line was heard in tonight’s Sex and the City:

Berger comes into the bedroom to find Carrie waiting for him in bed holding a pair of maribou slippers and says,

“What’s that you’ve got there, some kind of pet?”

Killed me.

I am America’s Coffee Bitch. Every office I work in, I’m the guy who has to make coffee because it’s down to the dregs when I get there. Aliso Viejo, CA; San Antonio, TX; Dallas, TX; Utica, NY; Syracuse, NY; West Palm Beach, FL; Memphis, TN; Las Vegas, NV; Wheeling, WV; Providence, RI; Salt Lake City, UT; and now Akron, OH — NObody knows how to make coffee anywhere, it’s always me. So I always make coffee, just so I can have some.

No, no, don’t thank me.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Elvis tattoo has left the building!

Yesterday’s entry was posted from a pay-as-you-go web browser at DFW airport during a layover on my way home. Interestingly, when I tried to view the posted entry, Pie was blocked; these pages had been “filtered for content.”

Fuckers.

Go to www.google.com, type “weapons of mass destruction”, click the I’m Feeling Lucky button.

Funny.

This will be of interest to no one but myself, but I’m posting it because it’ll be of interest to myself next year.

Assuming Valley College doesn’t do a show again, the hot ticket for fireworks viewing is CBS’s Radford Studio show. Stake out a spot on Colfax at the NW end of the bridge over the wash, bring chairs, get there around 8:15, park in the bus stop, show starts at about 8:50.

Leaving this note for myself here assumes, of course, that the internet will be around next year. And that I’ll be around to read the note. And that I’ll have a computer. And an internet connection. And etc.

All these things are much more likely than the chance that I’ll actually remember this on my own.

>>Tasteless joke involving pedophelia deleted.<<<