At the expense of my delicate ego, I feel I need to clear up some confusion about me and the spammers’ offer regarding the penis enlargement problem. I seem to have given the impression that my problem is that I have a large penis (Why, oh why, didn’t that ever work in the bars back in the 80’s?) when that is, sadly, not the case.

Let’s examine the spammer message that inspired my last entry. They offered “The permanent fix to Penis Enlargement.” Doesn’t that suggest that having an enlarged penis is a problem that needs fixing? And if enlargement is the problem, wouldn’t making it smaller be the solution?

That’s what prompted my last post. My dangly bits are small enough already; I don’t need a solution that makes them even smaller. I need one that, well, enlarges them. So technically speaking, I need the solution to penis enSMALLment. Hence my last entry.

Look, I know that was the intent of the original spammer message, but it was so poorly written that it negated itself and defeated its own purpose. I want well written, concise spam, not something that means what it doesn’t say. Write it right, spam boys, or stay the hell out of my pants.

But if you’re serious about that whole enlargement thing? I’m in.