Zoe has a very strict bedtime of 8:00 pm — she has to be in bed by 8:00 or else– Or else it might be a little later than that. 8:30, maybe. Or perhaps 9:00. Certainly no later than 10:00. 10:30, tops.

Whatever time it is, though, once she’s in bed she’s In Bed and must not leave her room. The loophole is that she can leave her room only if she’s 1) bleeding or 2) on fire — which has since been negotiated to include 3) if she has to go to the bathroom or 4) she sees a Bad Guy. (You’d be surprised how many Bad Guys we have lurking about.) The end result of all this is that she usually only ventures out five or six times a night.

Since the myriad excuses she offers when she gets caught outside the wire are now falling on deaf — and angry — ears, Zoe has added a twist: she leaves signs out for us. Written up on construction paper in multi-colored crayon with glitter glued on for accessorizing, they’re usually pretty cute and sometimes funny.

Tonight Beth and I were working in our offices on the opposite end of the house from Zoe’s room, and as I headed for the kitchen I found a sign waiting for me on the floor in the hallway: “Mom Dad I not sleepy at all OKOK.” Pretty cute, I thought, so I headed to Zoe’s room to give her a kiss and tuck her in again.

“I not sleepy” girl was out cold, snoring like a lumberjack.