Okay, I lied, I did watch a few minutes of the Academy Awards after all. Beth and Zoe were watching it while I sat on the couch with them and read a book, so some of it seeped through my crap barriers and intruded on my consciousness. Having witnessed some of its awfulness, all I have to say is:

Dayum! Them women is skinny! Attention, women of Hollywood: Have a fucking sandwich!

That is all. Thank you.