Oh my God, I feel so old.

Picking up my very healthy fast food dinner at Arby’s this evening, I overheard and joined a conversation between the barely 20-something Pretty Young Thing behind the counter and two frat boy Big Boys On Campus:

BBOC 1: …yeah, and I heard Kenny Rogers was going to be there, too.
PYT: Who’s Kenny Rogers?
BBOC 2: You know, Kenny Rogers!
PYT: Who’s that?
Me (utter disbelief): You don’t know who Kenny Rogers is?
PYT: No, I don’t. Who is he? Is he famous or something?
BBOCs snicker behind me.
PYT: You guys! Come on, who’s Kenny Rogers???
BBOCs laugh out loud.
Me (thinking to myself because BBOCs are about to explain): Go get ‘er, boys.
BBOC 1: He’s, like, the oldest guy in the world.
BBOC 2: Yeah, it’s like they have to roll out a respirator when he’s around.
BBOCs and PYT collapse in mad giggling laughter.

I feel rrreeeaaalllyyy old.

This movie ROCKED!!! I loved it!

This is the ultimate anti-Christmas movie, so if you’re someone who likes visions of sugarplums and Cindy Lou Who, well this movie ain’t gonna be for you. Billy Bob Thornton is an alcoholic safe-cracking womanizing foul-mouthed bitter Santa, and this is a movie that puts him in bad situations that proceed to get even worse.

My favorite scene, the one that had me gasping for air because I was laughing so hard, had Santa, the latchkey kid he’s taking advantage of, and his dwarf accomplice sparring in a boxing ring, everyone kicking everyone in the nuts, and then writhing in pain on the mat. Fun-ny, let me tell you.

This is a movie where Santa feels he’s experienced personal growth because he beat up a kid. Where, when he’s opened his heart and tries to give the kid the present he’s been asking for, the police gun him down on the kid’s doorstep and the present is soaked with blood. Where Santa’s girlfriend screams “Fuck me, Santa!” while they’re screwing in his car in the mall parking lot and he later introduces her to the kid as “Mrs. Clause’s sister.”

Beyond being funny, what I really liked about this movie was its refusal to compromise. It had a dark, bitter tone that it maintained even as the characters “grew.” I kept waiting for it to get cheesy and schmaltzy but it never did, even when it sort of did.

I may have to see it again.

Since I went home over the weekend for Thanksgiving I had to check out of good old Room 301 — which was fine with me, since the view sucked from there. Now I’m in Room 445 with a much better view.

Here’s the view out the window:

…and here’s the view of the hotel’s atrium just outside my door:

And directly beneath my feet, three floors down as I took the picture? Free breakfast. Woo.