Join us for tales of lost and cancelled credit cards, dog-pods, the prizes are in the mail, customer disservice, cat poop shaped dog food, top load vs front load washer/dryers, Mac vs PC and going over to the dark side, snarfling dogs, and assorted other stories.
But most of all, find out how Christmas was ruined.
As promised in the last show, here are some photos of Oliver, the cat who doesn’t know he’s supposed to be dying.
This is how he says “hi” every time Death drops by for a visit
And here he is demonstrating the Dead Cat Bounce. If this cat is dying, I want some of whatever he’s having.
And while I’m at it with the pictures, here’s one of Zoe tucked into bed with her cat Nina:
And if you’ve ever listened to our show, then you’ve heard the dogs barking in the background. Here’s what they’re usually barking at:
I “rescued” this one from Sammy just the other night. It’s bigger than she is.
We’re back on the air after a slight delay getting this show out. Look, we put out a new show every three days or so, and we pick which days those are — and they’re not necessarily in sequence. So shows will appear to be late every once in awhile. To you. To us, they’re right on time.
So. We’re all over the map again tonight, and the show ran long to boot. Some of what we covered tonight is:
Check it out, Jesus is just all right.
We’ve regained control of the podcast once again from the forces of TASTY. What was that all about anyway?
Tonight’s topics include giving thanks that the in-laws are headed back home to Florida, the gluttony scorecard, the perfect pecan pie bar dessert item, new podcasting gear, the not-dead-yet dying cat, the end of BJ Watch 2005 at Day 29, Thanksgiving Soapline greetings from NakedJen, time is running out on the Jesus action figure contest, etc. Once again, we’re all over the map and you’re invited to listen.
So check it out, it’s the Post-Thanksgiving Thanks Giving.
This podcast has been commandeered by the forces of TASTY. We are an underground group sworn to uphold and defend the rights of the noble and innocent turkey. Our numbers are legion, we are everywhere, we will not rest until the traditional Thanksgiving Day turkey dinner has been flensed from our national consciousness.
The Thanksgiving meal is a tradition of barbarity. Turkeys nationwide dread this day from the moment of their birth, knowing full well they are doomed to a sorry destiny of gastronomic gore. One day strutting proudly ’round the turkey farm, the next he is stripped of his feathers and trussed up like, well, a holiday turkey, has a packet of giblets and cornbread crammed up his butt, and is blasted with heat until crispy and golden brown and delicious. Following the shameful day he died for, he spends a lingering few weeks as that most ignominious of holiday fare: leftovers — turkey sandwich, turkey soup, turkey omelette, turkey jerky, turkey casserole, turkey loaf, turkey spam, turkey jam, turkey ala king, turkey stew, turkey gruel, turkey souffle and, when all that’s left of the carcass are the nasty bits that have been rejected for all the preceding, turkey surprise.
The carnage must be stopped. The taking of this podcast is only the first step in our campaign to end the killing. We will stop at nothing, we will spare no one; no deed is too foul for us to achieve our ends. You have been warned. Save the turkeys. Now.
Another Sunday night No Soap that rambles all over the map. At one point we somehow went off on a screed about Scientology, hence the episode title. We also made fun of Intelligent Design, pimped the Jesus Christ Contest, recognized listener MrCWise for all his support, wondered if we should tone down the sex-talk, discovered from a listener that Beth is a saint and Chuck must therefore be a dick, and a bunch of other things I can’t remember right now. Listen to it and you’ll hear it all for yourself.
So check it out, we dare you: So Sue Me.
Happy Birthday to Beth! Today’s her birthday and she celebrates by getting topless for the show. Woo! Tonight’s topics include…
Beth’s birthday — she’s not getting naked like Chuck did
Chuck talks her into going topless
Blowjob Watch ‘05 — Day 19
Zoe’s school’s “Multicultural Thanksgiving Potluck”
Chuck wants White Boy Day from True Romance
Beth calls Chuck a racist pig
Chuck likes that podcasting together gives us a chance to talk
Possum home invasion stories
Chuck recommends the Radio Adventures of Doctor Floyd podcast
The Great American Smoke-out — maybe Beth will quit, considering that she nagged Chuck into quitting four years ago?
Chuck’s new business cards — he has more than two this time
The Jesus Contest: leave a voicemail at (206) 339-SOAP to win the Action Figure Jesus or the Jesus Soap-on-a-Rope
Corncobs as toilet paper
Put your pin in our Frappr Map
Doggie Olympics while we’re recording the show
Our new cat Oliver and his maybe-fatal condition
Pet advice: don’t get them, they always die … expensively
Check it out, it’s Beth’s Topless Birthday Show!
Birthday music was: “Happy Birthday” by Craymo, courtesy of the Podsafe Music Network.
The contest prizes:
Soap-on-a-rope Jesus
Action Figure Jesus
We’re recording tonight from the brand-spanking-new No Soap recording studio in the No Soap penthouse suite and this time it’s Beth who goes under the bus … but Chuck who will pay the ultimate price. Tonight we bullshitted about:
Check it out as Chuck gives lessons on How not to get a blowjob.
Beth throws Chuck under the bus so many times tonight that we figure we must live on the busline. Tonight’s topics:
The Beth Birthday Count-down — only 6 shopping days left
Beth doesn’t mind aging as long as she looks younger than Chuck, who is younger than her
Beth and the pressure washer and the hole in the house
Halloween hoochie-mamas
Chuck geocaching in a graveyard in Milwaukee
Two Soapmail calls from our #1 listener, NakedJen
A No Soap promo from Mr. Shark Attack and Lady Starfish, complete with Irish pirates
Beth still owes Chuck that birthday blowjob
Beth wants a bus sound effect for when she throws Chuck under it
Chuck got stuck in Chicago on his trip to Milwaukee
Podfest 2000
The Podshow Expo fundraising job failed miserably
Chuck is still going, but solo on the motorcycle
Beth and Zoe have noticed testosterone = farting
Earworms
Closing music: “Pass It On” by .22 from the Podsafe music network.
Check it out: we live on the busline.
We’re back on the air with Episode 14.1 after some travelus interruptus and Chuck deciding that the first version of #14 sucked and didn’t deserve to be uploaded and we had to record a replacement show when he got back from San Diego. We’re all about Quality Control here, people. We care about your entertainment experience.
Tonight’s topics included:
Chuck is on the rag
Beth bought and installed Tivo
Randy of 2 Guys, 1 Brain says Beth is a “quality chick”
Chuck’s Ford Expedition envy, Beth’s Infiniti G35 envy
Beth admits to cheating on Chuck, group-orgy style
Our new cat Oliver
Our oversexed lesbian dog Sammy
Chuck’s trip to San Diego and upcoming trip to Milwaukee
A Soap-line call from Mr. Shark Attack
More Mr. Shark Attack and Lady Starfish love
Chuck used to be a stalker
Chuck’s brother’s computer kung fu sucks
A nearly production error-free show
Check it out, everybody is Kung Fu Fighting.
No Soap Radio
