{"id":785,"date":"2009-04-11T01:42:50","date_gmt":"2009-04-11T08:42:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/?p=785"},"modified":"2010-03-21T01:43:18","modified_gmt":"2010-03-21T08:43:18","slug":"cleanliness-is-next-to-clusterfuck","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/2009\/04\/11\/cleanliness-is-next-to-clusterfuck\/","title":{"rendered":"Cleanliness Is Next To Clusterfuck"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I am never washing my bike again. EVER. I went six months or more without fucking it up with soap and water and everything was fine, but I took it out today for the first time since washing it on Thursday and I seriously wondered if I\u2019d make it home alive. I must have washed off the bike\u2019s mojo along with the dirt, because everything went wrong today.<\/p>\n<p>This started out as a long entry going into too much detail about every step of everything that went wrong with the ride today, but the short version is:<\/p>\n<p>    * 472 bicyclists racing where we were riding, forcing us to dodge 10-speeds, Spandex and mooseknuckle most of the day<br \/>\n    * Blowing my line on a turn because I was hotdogging for a camera, crossing the yellow line into oncoming traffic, and missing being a hood ornament by inches<br \/>\n    * My bike starting to leak gear oil from the primary<br \/>\n    * Dropping my bike off a lift \u2014 onto me<br \/>\n    * Discovering my rear fender has been rubbing on the wheel and using a pry-bar to fix it <\/p>\n<p>The lesson I\u2019ve taken from all this? Washing my bike is bad mojo. Pre-soap? Everything was fine. Post-soap? \u201cDanger, Will Robinson!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Screw washing it. A clean bike is a dangerous bike.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I am never washing my bike again. EVER. I went six months or more without fucking it up with soap and water and everything was fine, but I took it out today for the first time since washing it on Thursday and I seriously wondered if I\u2019d make it home alive. I must have washed [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-785","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-neutral"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/785","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=785"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/785\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":786,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/785\/revisions\/786"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=785"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=785"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=785"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}