{"id":701,"date":"2008-10-02T23:54:23","date_gmt":"2008-10-03T06:54:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/?p=701"},"modified":"2010-03-20T23:57:25","modified_gmt":"2010-03-21T06:57:25","slug":"my-kids-in-my-head","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/2008\/10\/02\/my-kids-in-my-head\/","title":{"rendered":"My Kid&#8217;s In My Head"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Me and the family were talking over dinner about a party my M\/C is throwing next weekend and my wife asked if she was getting in free.  I said she could if she worked the event and that I\u2019d probably have her work the gate, collecting the entry fee from attendants.  But then I remembered her recently injured thumb (she cut herself in a musical\/food preparation activity gone horribly wrong) and joked about how she\u2019d probably contract some flesh-rotting disease from the money with her open wound.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah,\u201d she agreed.  \u201cWe don\u2019t know where that money\u2019s been.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, I think I do,\u201d I said, picturing bills inserted in various orifices at seedy stripper bars, but I stopped myself before going on because my 12-year old daughter was at the table.  \u201cI\u2019d say where, but we have young ears listening.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI know exactly what you\u2019re thinking, Dad,\u201d my daughter interjected.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t think so,\u201d I said.  \u201cI really, really don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re thinking of strippers.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Holy shit.  My kid\u2019s a mind-reader \u2014 and she knows I\u2019m a pervert.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Me and the family were talking over dinner about a party my M\/C is throwing next weekend and my wife asked if she was getting in free. I said she could if she worked the event and that I\u2019d probably have her work the gate, collecting the entry fee from attendants. But then I remembered [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-701","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-neutral"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/701","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=701"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/701\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":705,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/701\/revisions\/705"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=701"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=701"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.deadpan.net\/ridereport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=701"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}