Sorry, got to channeling America there for a second. (A Horse With No Name, for the lyrically challenged among you.) Oops…

So anyway, yeah, we're heading up to JournalCon. And we're bringing the wives. And the kids. At least I am; I'm not sure about Steve. It'll be Steve and Chuck and Beth and Zoe and (maybe) Viv and Amy. It's going to be pretty cool.

The whole thing was Steve's idea. My initial response was tepid. After thinking about it awhile, it was still tepid. Longer still: still tepid. But then… Well, then Steve got a delivery. A very special, magical, rumbly, shiny delivery. From Messrs. Harley & Davidson.

Gurgle. (<--That's envy there. Gurgling.)

So Steve got himself all Harley'd up and he suggested we ride our steeds up to SF for JC and that sounded pretty cool. I was still kind of "eh" on the thought of JournalCon, but roadtripping again with Señor Amaya? Well, hmm. I started warming to the idea.

Then Steve came over. With his new motorcycle. His new Harley-Davidson Road King motorcycle, all steel and leather and Vivid Black paint job and shiny bits and two-wheeled throaty goodness. And he let me ride it. I took it around the block. Then around the neighborhood. Then out on the main streets where I could work it all the way through the gears and hit some serious speed.

Ohhhhh………

I needed a cigarette when I was through. And a moist towelette.

I want one o' those things. Bad. Like, sell-your-daughter's-kidney bad. I've done some calculating about how I can finance getting one for myself, and I've come up with what I think is a pretty good idea. It's going to require some Rob-esque begging from you on my part, though. Don't say "no" yet, hear me out.

Here's the plan: I figure if only 10 of you faithful readers will raid your piggy banks and each sends me $1,000… Well, then, I'll only need to hit about 10 more of you up for another grand each. What do you think? Is that a plan or what?

No? Didn't think so. Okay, so that means roadtripping up there with Steve on my bike. Now, mine is perfectly respectable and serviceable. It's a fine motorcycle in its own right; it's a '97 Honda Shadow ACE 1100. When I'm in town I ride it to work nearly every day for a round trip commute of 130 miles. I've put more than 10,000 miles on it since I bought it. It's a purty yellow and black color scheme that always gets second glances and everyone at work sort of drools over it in the parking lot when they go out to smoke. Most people think it's a Harley. But it's not a Harley. And now that I've ridden Steve's Harley, I don't love my Shadow anymore. Roadtrip to San Fran alongside Steve's Road King on this lame duck? I don't think so. So, okay, Plan B.

Plan B is: Eagleriders. They've got a shop near here, almost right on the way to San Francisco, in fact, so for now the plan is to rent a Road King for the weekend so I can ride up and back with Steve. For a mere $500 I can be a wanna-be Harley owner for the weekend, I can ride in style, I can be Billy to Steve's Captain America, and I can live the ultimate cruiser motorcycle dream. Yes, it's expensive, but it's a Harley! And it's a once-in-a-lifetime adventure kind of thing! Sometimes you just have to spend the extra money to do things the way you've always dreamed them. It's just this once. It's just $500. It's special.

At least that's the story I'm giving Beth. The truth of the matter is: test ride. Long, extended full-throttle test ride. Because I'm getting a Road King too. I don't know how and I don't know when but damn it, I'm getting one.

Gurgle.