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April 28, 2005 - Thursday

 Meet Special K

My former co-worker Kevin won my movie quote contest the other day, winning him a guest entry spot here at the Lunchroom. I’m proud as hell to be his first. Here’s what Special K had to say:

After living most of my online life on the outside of the blog world looking in, I find myself with the somewhat difficult task of becoming that which I have only observed.

So the question I ask myself is what do I say in my first tender moments as I give up my online journal virginity?

Do I reveal deeply personal secrets? (I can’t name more than 2 Supreme Court justices… but I do know the names of the remaining Bachelorettes on “The Bachelor”)

Do I reveal something about my home life (I recently found myself sticking my nose full in my 6 month old’s diaper just to see if it really needed changing.)

Do I tell of my secret loves? (I have a man-crush on Phil Keoghan of the Amazing Race. I don’t want to make out with him or anything…but a nice long hug would not be unwelcome.)

Do I tell of my political views? (While I am an admitted Bill Clinton fan, the thought of his face on a coin that could potentially be in the front pocket of my pants makes me a little uncomfortable.)

So in the end, I decided that the only real and honest thing I could do was to tell something about myself…reveal a little bit of my soul.

I must have eaten something funny.

My farts smell like broccoli.


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 Short Attention Span Theater

I’m doing it again. Procrastinating. But I suppose technically I’m not really procrastinating, I’m reaping the fruits of doing so earlier today. It’s 12:44 a.m. and I’m prepping for a class that starts in 7 hours and 16 minutes, when earlier today I was lounging around and doing a whole lot of nothing instead of prepping so I could be sleeping at 12:44 a.m. Procrastinating. Again.

It’s okay, I perform well under pressure. At least that’s what I told myself during Finals back in my 2.5 GPA days. Ha.

Anyway, I’m finally getting around to prepping — or am I? Because you’re reading this, which means I was typing it, which means either I’m one King Hell of a multi-tasker or I’m screwing around instead of working. The smart money is on option B.

I find that what I’m really doing is prepping for awhile, then farting around online for awhile, then getting back to prepping. Not very efficient, but at least I’m making progress. So I guess I’ll try to be doubly productive: I’ll prep for a bit, then I’ll work on an entry to screw around a bit. Multi-tasking! Woo. Since I’ll probably end up writing about what I’m listening to on iTunes Party Shuffle while I’m working, I guess I’ll just start out that way rather than ultimately giving up and drifting into it.

Kid Rock – Cocky – Damn, but I like this song. They say I’m cocky and I say what / it ain’t bragging motherfucker if you back it up. I like Kid Rock a lot. I dismissed him at first, but he’s grown on me as I’ve come to respect him as a musician. The guy’s for real, he’s no one hit wonder.

Prepprepprep…

Springsteen – Night – Bruce. What else can I say? You have to stop and turn it up.

Prepprepprep…

Terri Clark – Girls Lie Too – I like Terri Clark. I think she’s cuter than hell, I like her voice, and this is the kind of country song that makes me like country: clever, good turn of a phrase, good hook.

Prepprepprep…

Jimmy Ray – Are You Jimmy Ray? – I mention this only because of the coincidence that this is caming up while I’m writing just a day or two after I wrote about it.

Prepprepprep…

Rush – Limelight – I love Rush. Love them. I saw them in concert once, back in the 80’s on the Moving Picture tour. I remember very little of it because there were … extenuating circumstances.

I was in high school at the time, a senior. My girlfriend was moving back to Switzerland after graduation, and for reasons that I can’t remember and which probably wouldn’t make much sense if I did, she somehow came to be living with my family for the last week or so before she left. Take one horny virgin teenaged boy, add a live-in girlfriend and lax parental supervision, and you’ve got a party! Woo! But not a great party. Because my girlfriend wasn’t about to just give it up. No, she had to torture me first. So I was at the best party in town but I couldn’t really … lets say “play with the favors.”

Meanwhile, my friends Alex and Rick and I, we have tickets to see Rush. So the day of the concert my girlfriend and I spent much of the afternoon alone at my house, on the couch, um, touching the favors. Petting them, shall we say. Until by the time Alex and Rick came to pick me up to go to the concert, certain party favors of mine were a distinct shade of blue. And painful. Oh, so very, very painful. Walking hurt. Getting in the car hurt. Riding in the car hurt. Everything hurt. I hurt.

We stopped by Rick’s dad’s house to hang out before leaving for the concert. While we were there, my blue party favors began turning purple. New levels of pain were reached and then surpassed. I was in sad shape. So Rick’s dad broke out a mason jar of moonshine and poured me a shot. That hurt too, but it also helped. So I had another one. And I think I might have had one more. Moonshine makes your memory fuzzy. And then he gave me a pill, too. I thought it was a painkiller, but looking back on it and knowing Rick’s dad it might well have been a Quaalude. I didn’t care what it was, I was hurting: I took it.

I began to feel better. A lot better. Human, even. And then as we got to the concert and found our seats, I began to feel sleeepppyyyy…. I remember taking a hit off a joint someone passed me. I remember drinking some wine from the bota bag we smuggled in. I remember struggling to stay awake. I remember forcing myself to hold my head up and look at the screen on the stage during Red Barchetta. And that’s all I remember of that night.

So I’ve seen Rush in concert once. Sort of. At least I can say I was there.

Oh, and my girlfriend and I finally had our party before she left. She insisted that I wear not one but two, um, “party hats.” And it was still a really short party. But the best I’d ever been to.

And now… It’s 1:30 and I still have to figure out what I’m wearing tomorrow when I leave for work in five and a half hours. I’ve gone further though the book tonight than I probably will get through tomorrow, so I’m calling it a night.

And fucking hell, now it’s raining. Great, I was going to ride the motorcycle in tomorrow. That just added half an hour to my commute. Greeaatt…

See ya…


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