I just got home from one of those “Oscar” parties you hear so much about after the Academy Awards. What a pain in the ass! It wasn’t anything like what I expected.

I thought for once in my life I’d be able to go to a party where I didn’t necessarily know everyone there but I’d be able to fake my way through it and pretend like I did, right? Wrong.

Nobody there was named Oscar.

Man, did I feel stupid when I was talking to this really hot chick and her name turned out to be “Charlize.”