Today is my first day among the unemployed. I’ll admit, I’ve been a little nervous about what I’ll do next, but then I found a God-sent email in my inbox when I got up this morning.

It seems there’s a company with something like $65,000,000 tied up in Nigeria in a failed business deal after the principal of the company and his entire family died in a tragic car accident. I’m not clear on all the particulars or why they chose me, but I was contacted by the brother of the neighbor of the nephew of the company’s window-washer’s 3rd cousin to help them get the money out of Nigeria. And they made an offer I can’t refuse! If I help get the money out by acting as an agent for the company and letting them move the money through my bank account, they’ll give me 25% of it for helping and another 5% for expenses!

That’s $19,500,000! Just for being a nice guy!

Boy, this email couldn’t have come at a better time. Whew.