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May 24, 2004 - Monday

 Alice’s Restaurant

After reading the sage advice from David, I realized that opening a can of whoop-ass on my cat burglar would also probably open up a can of worms as well. Confrontation would be deeply satisfying, but having events spin out of control in the process would not be. I’ve been on the “W” bench. I don’t need to sit there again. So I opted for the passive-aggressive approach instead.

I drove around the neighborhood until I found his car in an alley a few blocks away. I wrote a note and left it on his windshield:

If any of my cats go missing, I’m coming for you first. There are NO stray cats for you at my house.

Short and sweet and, I think, succinct. He knows I know where he is. He knows what I think he’s up to. He knows he’ll answer to me if he does it. He’s not anonymous now.

We’re still keeping the cats locked up again tonight, but I feel a little bit better now.


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2 responses to “Alice’s Restaurant”

  1. Lesley says:

    There’s no reason you can’t take down his license plate and phone the police dept and tell them you found this guy sneaking up on one of your cats on your property. Even if he never returns to your house, it’s likely he’s sneaking up on other cats in other yards. The guy could be a cat torturer you know? I’d seriously report this freak. He may also be on record with the cops for other stuff…I’d report him. It won’t hurt you, will establish a record of a call and put him on notice.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Yeah. I agree with Lesley. Call him in, no matter how silly it might sound to say “I think this guy is trying to steal one of my cats.”

    You never know what (else) he may be up to.

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