I had a moment of clarity just now, the kind where you’re having a conversation and you blurt out something that crystalizes how you feel and you didn’t know you felt that way until you said it. I was telling my coworker Gavin about how much I enjoyed stepping out of the shower and into a pile of fresh dog puke this morning when I said:

I hate all my animals. I want them to die. I wish my house would burn down with them trapped inside.

Clearly, I’m having pet issues right now. And maybe house issues, too.