My phone rang a few minutes ago. It was Beth, calling to ask “What does “teabagging” mean?”

I don’t know if I’m proud or ashamed that I knew the answer. I also don’t know if I’m disturbed or pleased that she knew I’d know.

Layoffs are on the horizon here at The Company. My department’s job is to handle converting all of Intergalactic Overlord Parent Company’s radio stations to our software, and we’re just about finished doing it. Once they’re all converted, me and my coworkers are out of a job.

With this in mind, our Human Resources VP has scheduled back-to-back ten-minute meetings today with everyone in my department to help us “explore your options” — and, oh yeah, also to tell us when each person’s individual axe will fall. I’m dressed for the occasion: I’m wearing a T-shirt from one of the stations I converted in Chicago: “Gospel Radio — where the ministry is in the music.”

Yeah, I’m working every angle I can think of. I figure I need the help…