Diary of a SubUrban Housewife

May 29, 2006


Filed under: Uncategorized — Beth @ 5:46 pm

Excellent star sighting today:


March 31, 2006

Bon Bini

Filed under: Uncategorized — Beth @ 12:40 am

In about nine hours, we Atkins’ are off for 10 days of sun, sand, and crystal blue Caribbean waters as we head to Curacao.

I’ll be thinking of each and every one of you.

December 20, 2005

Why Little Dogs Are So Much Fun

Filed under: Uncategorized — Beth @ 4:18 pm

October 25, 2005

Why It’s Worth It

Filed under: Uncategorized — Beth @ 10:36 pm

Yeah, I owe a Journalcon wrap up. This isn’t it. I’m not sure there is much more to say on the topic than it was the polar opposite of my BlogHer experience. And that, as my close personal friend Martha Stewart says, is A Good Thing. Everyone I had the opportunity to meet and spend time with (which was fewer than I’d hoped) was lovely. Conversation and alcohol flowed freely. Cleavage was rampant. It made for a perfect weekend.

But not my point.

One of the accounts I handle is the LAUSD. There’s been a huge influx of money, no doubt as a result of tax and bond measures and class size reduction laws. I’m not really the go-to girl on why there’s all this money, and who is really footing the bill. But I can tell you that there are dozens and dozens of new elementary schools going up all over Los Angeles. Every one of the schools that I have been to are in the poorest neighborhoods.

The architecture on these schools is creative. There’s great use of color and shape. They are well designed and kid friendly. The classrooms are huge. There are work areas and play areas in each room, and low little sinks for washing dirty little hands with water fountains built in, right in the classrooms.

And the classrooms need furniture. And it is my job to make sure that they get it. So today I spent the entire morning at a brand new school (so new there were wet paint signs on the walls) overseeing the installation of brand new furniture.

While I was there with my installers putting in desks and chairs and making sure everything was just right, I got to watch two tours of new kindergartners see the new school they will start going to on Thursday.

There were daisy chains of little girls skipping. Parents looking around in delight. Kids eyeing the playground and jungle gym with huge smiles on their faces. It’s all brand new and it’s just for them.

So the next time someone bitches to me because their new cubicle is 6″ smaller than their old one I’ll think about those kids and remember why I love what I do.

December 31, 2004

Happy New Year

Filed under: Uncategorized — Beth @ 10:05 pm

To all of you.


May you all enjoy a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2005.

December 22, 2004

Mergers and Acquisitions

Filed under: Uncategorized — Beth @ 11:16 am


Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Hanukkah will merge. An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1,300 years, ever since the rise of the Muslim empire.

While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having 12 days of Christmas and eight days of Hanukkah was becoming prohibitive for both sides. By combining forces, we’re told, the world will be able to enjoy consistently high-quality service during the 15 Days of Christmukah, as the new holiday is being called. Massive layoffs are expected, with lords a-leaping and maids a-milking being the hardest hit.

As part of the conditions of the agreement, the letters on the dreidel, currently in Hebrew, will be replaced by Latin, thus becoming unintelligible to a wider audience. Also, instead of translating to “A great miracle happened there,” the message on the dreidel will be the more generic “Miraculous stuff happens.” In exchange, it is believed that Jews will be allowed to use Santa Claus and his vast merchandising resources for buying and delivering their gifts. In fact, one of the sticking points holding up the agreement for at least 300 years was the question of whether Jewish children could leave milk and cookies for Santa even after having eaten meat for dinner. A breakthrough came last year when Oreos were finally declared to be kosher. All sides appeared happy about this.

A spokesman for Christmas, Inc., declined to say whether a takeover of Kwanzaa might not be in the works as well. He merely pointed out that, were it not for the independent existence of Kwanzaa, the merger between Christmas and Hanukkah might indeed be seen as an unfair cornering of the holiday market. Fortunately for all concerned, he said, Kwanzaa will help to maintain the competitive balance. He then closed the press conference by leading all present in a rousing rendition of “Oy, Come All Ye Faithful.”

December 13, 2004

I, Inc.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Beth @ 11:59 pm

I talked to my career guru Mitchell today. He gives me pep talks and has more contacts than anyone I’ve ever met. He knows absolutely everyone.

Mitchell shared something with me today that I will, in turn, share with you. Most of us work for someone. We (if you’re like me) put most of yourself into your job/career. But how much do you give to yourself? If you’re like me, not a lot. But you are your most important asset. You need to put time into yourself. Every day. Put time into achieving your goals–be they personal or professional.

In my case right now, the very core of my being is focused on getting a new job and possibly doing a bit of a career shift. Finding my Bliss.

The thing about putting time into yourself is how surpisingly good it makes you feel.

Mitchell told me all of this today, but on Saturday when I finsihed my resume I was recharged–for the first time in weeks. On Sunday when I sent it out to a company I’m very interested in working for I was practically vibrating with excitement. (And I mean that in the cleanest way humanly possible.

So as of today, my main employer is Me. I, Inc.

And as if Mitchell’s pep talk wasn’t enough to galvanize me into action, this was today’s horoscope:

Take charge of the situation and steer it toward a final commitment. Your willpower is unmatched right now and any decisions finalized today will be strong.

The signs couldn’t be pointing any more in the right direction.

December 3, 2004

It’s a Crock

Filed under: Uncategorized — Beth @ 11:16 pm

I recently purchased a crock pot. It seemed a brilliant plan at the time.

OK, perhaps what tipped the scales in favor of purchasing an appliance I’ve managed to go 45 years without even ever wanting, was the fact that it was on sale (a measly $14.99), and came in brushed stainless steel. I’m just a slut for stainless steel appliances.

I’ve got this freakin crock pot that I figure must be good for something, but I haven’t quite figured out what yet.

So far I used it exactly one time–to make a pot of split pea soup. And I wasn’t all that crazy about it because I used yellow split peas, not the usual green ones I like, so it was different, and I guess I’m not all that good with change.

Since then the crock pot has been put away in the dread cabinet where the appliances go to die. (Think of it like the Island of Misfit Toys to be completely seasonal about it, only for appliances–hand crank pasta machines, immersion blenders, and the like.)

But I think that if I knew what to do in this stupid crock pot it would be great, especially since it’s winter time, the season of hearty, slow cooked, yummy things.

Then I had a flash of brilliance today. There must be crock pot recipes on the internets. I mean, the internets have (has?) to be good for something besides reading blogs, playing cribbage, and shopping. No? I mean I’ve heard it’s simply chock full of useful information.

So I Google “crock pot recipes” this evening. This seems a brilliant plan on the face of it, but I’ve come to find out that most slow cooker recipes have the words either creamy or cheesy or sometimes even both in the title. And call me madcap if you will, but neither creamy nor cheesy, particularly when the creamy really means a can of cream of something soup, really appeals to me all that much.

I promise you all, that none of the things mentioned here were destined for the crock pot.

But I am stalwart, and will find something I can do with it. Maybe I’ll take up batik. I hear it’s coming back into fashion.

November 26, 2004

If I Weren’t So Full of Turkey I Could Actually Post An Entry

Filed under: Uncategorized — Beth @ 12:27 am

but, alas I am, so instead you get this:

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life – a living diary.
If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible.
What kind of blogger are you?

November 19, 2004

Guess I’m Just a Three Ring Circus

Filed under: Uncategorized — Beth @ 12:45 pm

You Are From Saturn

You’re steady, organized, and determined to achieve your dreams.
You tend to play it conservative, going by the rules (at least the practical ones).
You’ll likely reach the top. And when you do, you’ll be honorable and responsible.
Focus on happiness. Don’t let your goals distract you from fun!
Don’t be too set in your ways, and you’ll be more of a success than you ever dreamed of.
What Planet Are You From?

Courtesy of Carol.