Diary of a SubUrban Housewife


February 9, 2007

As Usual, The Goddess Hits the Nail on the Head

Filed under: That's Incredible! — Beth @ 1:41 pm

I’m working from home today.  I have a lot to do.  But my office looks like a paper monster threw up in here.  There’s stuff all over the place.  So, in an effort to get my shit together, I decided to take about 30 minutes minutes to reorganize.

Now, I don’t know if you’re anything like me, but I have ADD when it comes to cleaning and organizing.  I organize a little here, see something that needs to go there, bring it there and spend a few minutes organizing there until something needs to go back to here.  Rinse, lather, and repeat.  What ends up happening usually is that everything is a little organized, but nothing is completely organized.

And so it goes with organizing my workspace.

While organizing, tossing, and generally cleaning out I came upon my pack of Goddess Cards.  I selected a card at random.   The card I got:  Goddess of the New:  I let go of things that are no longer useful.

December 19, 2006

Seasonally Appropriate

Filed under: That's Incredible! — Beth @ 12:23 pm

I received a fax today from someone named Ringga Bell.

August 30, 2006

Art Imitating Life?

Filed under: That's Incredible! — Beth @ 12:41 pm

After reading this, I have to wonder if Roman’s days are numbered…

July 22, 2006

You Heard it Here First

Filed under: That's Incredible!,Work Stuff — Beth @ 10:32 am

One of the things about my job is that I repeatedly go in an out of a variety of buildings that require you to go through a metal detector.

On Wednesday I was at Superior Court in downtown and was in and out of the building no fewer than five times. Each time I had to put my briefcase and cell phone on the conveyor belt and walk through the metal detector. At least three of those times I beeped (though nothing on my person had changed) and the security guard had to “wand” me.

I’m sure that in about 20 years we’re going to read headlines screaming that these seeminly innocuous metal detectors give off radiation and cause cancer.

Remember: you heard it here first.

March 8, 2006

Food for Thought

Filed under: That's Incredible! — Beth @ 5:57 pm

Do doctors, nurses, or other emergency personnel really think less of you if, when they’re performing life-saving measures on you after you were hit by a car, you’re wearing those panties your mother cautioned you against?

February 19, 2006

Conspiracy Theory

Filed under: That's Incredible! — Beth @ 12:40 pm

Clearly I have wayyyyy too much time on my hands because sometimes my mind goes to truly bizarre places. Case in point:

I was at the supermarket this morning. On the cover of one of those checkout rags I love to read was a photo of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (who I almost referred to as “that bit of fluff he’s with” until her name came to me in a flash). The headline was: THEY’RE SPLIT. Now I already knew this because I read in Yahoo news how their publicists were very busy denying this rumor earlier in the week when news of the cover story leaked.

History tells us (see Nick and Jessica and Bennifer I) that once these rumors crop up and denials start flying, it’s only a matter of time until these relationships implode and they really are over (don’t tell me you’re not counting the days for Brittany Spears and K-Fed).

So this is what I have come up with on the whole TomKat thing. Feel free to spread this rumor. No need to give me credit.

Notice how Katie’s been absent from the media (with the exception of a few soccer outings). She is not really pregnant. It’s all been a clever (or maybe not so clever) plan involving pillows of varying sizes. The TomKat thing is going to implode in a matter of weeks. Katie will walk off into the sunset. Tom will go on to make many more bad movies, and spout more Scientology mumbo jumbo.

I won’t even address the whole “Isn’t Tom gay?” thing. I’ll save that for another day.

No need to thank me. Just remember: you heard it here first.

November 7, 2005

In Case You’re Wondering…

Filed under: That's Incredible! — Beth @ 9:29 pm

The answer to this question is a resounding NO!

September 29, 2005

Mezmerizing

Filed under: Politics,That's Incredible!,Webishness — Beth @ 7:54 pm

Don’t look. I dare you.

August 5, 2005

It’s In the Mail

Filed under: That's Incredible! — Beth @ 7:12 pm

I received the following e-mail today:

“I’m curious. I’ve seen your navel-ring…but could I see it in a full shot…ie. with you in an outfit? I’m a housewife too and I am considering a piercing…..Elpie”

Yeah, sure. I’ll get right on it.

February 15, 2005

Pause for Thought

Filed under: That's Incredible! — Beth @ 10:26 pm

A story in Sunday’s Los Angeles Times cited this an “oddly mild” flu season, “despite the fact that thousands of doses of the flu vaccine remain unused.”

Then there’s a story today (granted it’s from E! Online News, but a story nonetheless) that Jacko couldn’t make his trial today because he’s, “being treated for a “very serious case of the flu,” “. (OK, that whole quote the quote thing has my punctuationally challenged, but you get my point.)

It just makes me wonder is all.