Diary of a SubUrban Housewife


March 12, 2007

Stars Galore

Filed under: Around the Neighborhood,Celeb Central,Photos — Beth @ 9:14 pm

I’ve totally slacked in updating my Star Sightings. Two in the last couple of weeks.

Kirstie was having lunch at Chin Chin in Studio City. She came in with a bunch of teenage boys and was met by a friend. I’m here to tell you, she looked fabulous! And she used chopsticks to eat her Chinese Chicken Salad.

And less than a week later I was sitting on Vine at the stop light at Sunset, and who do I see getting into a black Maserati????

Berger!

…the man who broke up with Carrie Bradshaw on a Post-it Note.

July 8, 2005

Digital Amusement

Filed under: My Old Man,Photos — Beth @ 9:40 pm

So yeah, we got a new digital camera.

The thing about digital cameras–like Polaroid’s–is that you can feel free to….ummm…experiment….with the kinds of photos you don’t necessarily want to take over to your local one hour photo place.

Same thing with camera phones. Except with those you can instantly e-mail the photo to the person of your choice, often before common sense kicks in.

My husband is no exception to this rule apparently.

When I came home from work I picked up our new toy and started perusing the pix. The very first one I came upon was … OK, I just spent about 15 minutes trying to think of some delicate way to put this and as I’m not exactly a delicate flower I’ll just come out and say it… a picture of my husband’s (huge) penis. I chuckled (no pun intended) and moved on to numerous adorable pictures of my little dog.

I quickly bored of the camera and moved on to other things.

Then Chuck brought the camera in and wanted to show me the many fabulous features it has so I clicked it back on and you can just guess which was the first picture to show up. Yup, the dick picture again.

Then I flipped through the pictures. And no matter which way I seemed to flick, the next picture I’d always get to was the dick pic again. Sheesh, his penis was stalking me.

So I leave to go get my hair colored and come home to once again play with the camera. I snap a few photos and try to scroll through them, this time using the enlarging and zooming in feature. Which picture that kept coming up on the screen? Yes, it was the stalking penis.

It got to the point of absurdity.

So then I gave Chuck the camera to take a picture of me and Sammy:

Sammy!

He then took the camera into his office to download the photos so I could post this cute picture. Guess which was the first one that came up on his screen?

June 21, 2005

Sammy!

Filed under: Photos,The Animals — Beth @ 11:53 pm

Sammy came home today!

Sammy!

You can feel free to tell me how cute she is.

June 12, 2005

Sew Happy

Filed under: Photos,Quilting — Beth @ 12:24 am

When I last talked about quilting I was in the midst of all manner of drama getting started, killing two sewing machines, and having my favorite machine held hostage by the repairman.

I’m pleased to report that the machine made it home, exorcised, cleaned, and otherwise repaired for the measley sum of $164.

In the meantime, because I really now think that all the sewing machine problems had to do with the fabric that I originally bought for Jill’s quilt because every time I got close to that project and fabric something else went wrong, I decided that was not the best choice for a baby and went out and bought all new fabric and started the quilt all over again.

So yeah, I bought all new fabric and started the project all over again. This time I went with bright colors based on a piece of really cute blue fabric with planets and stars on it. I went with orange, green, aqua and yellow–cheerful happy baby colors. And I found a deliciously soft flannel with little baby turtles on it for the backing.

Zip zip zip, the quilt went together in a flash because it was strip pieced. I’m telling you, a crib sized quilt went together in about three hours.

But ha…things are never that simple.

I have this theory. Things take a certain amount of time to do. Traffic for example. Your commute to work is typically, umm…let’s say…an hour (OK, I live in Los Angeles–it’s all relative). Then one day by some miracle you get to work in…umm…let’s say…15 minutes. You think you scored, right? I can absolutely, positively guarantee you that one day later in the very same week it’s going to take you an hour and 45 minutes to get to work. That’s because your drive is an hour. End of discussion. So you may save some time one day, but you’re going to have to make up for it.

The same thing goes for making a quilt. It’s going to take X amount of time. If it takes you Y time to complete one portion of the quilt you’re going to pay for it.

And that was the case with this little zippy three hour quilt. Because, you see, you cannot make a quilt (or at least I cannot) in three hours.

The pattern called for a ruffle around it which involved a whole other level of drama because I do not have a ruffle foot (yet) for my sewing machine, so it involved stripping together enormously long lengths of fabric, basting it and gathering it and then pinning it to the quilt top and sewing it on.

So I finally get the ruffle sewed onto the quilt top and get the batting, backing, and quilt top sandwiched together. Zip zip zip.

I do the quilting (versus the piecing which is actually is the process of making the quilt top; the quilting is what you do when you have the top, middle, and back all put together–it’s the sewing design). The quilting goes quickly becuase it’s very simple in the ditch. (OK, you can go here and read all about these different things if you want to learn more about quilting.)

So quilt top done. Quilt put together and quilted. Zip zip zip. I’ve invested maybe 6 1/2 hours now. But we’re still at the Y amount of time. Because apparently I cannot finish an entire quilt in 6 1/2 hours.

You see, at every single intersection of squares, the pattern called for a bow. A bow made out of ribbon that’s about 1/8 of an inch wide. You cut the ribbon about 4 1/2 inches long and then make it into a little bow and sew it on.

There were 126 little intersections where bows needed to be sewn onto this quilt. Yes.

1.2.6.

Virtually every night this week I’d come home and create these itty bitty little bows and then sew them onto the quilt. And when you’re eyes, like the rest of you, are 45 years old, sitting there doing itty bitty close up work takes a bit longer than it used to–when your eyes weren’t quite so old.

I finished the quilt, finally, late Friday night, with plenty of time to give it a final wash and dry before the baby shower at 2 this afternoon.

In case you care (OK, I’m making you care), here’s a picture of the finished product:

Jilly's quilt

And because there were 126 little bows on the quilt, you must have a moment with the bows:

Bows!

February 26, 2005

A New Man in My Life

Filed under: Angel Music,Fabulous Stuff,Photos — Beth @ 7:50 pm

There’s a new man in my life.

He makes everything hot, moist, and juicy. He’s so fabulous that, not only does my husband love him too, but my husband uses him–almost every single day. Sometimes twice a day.

Who is this incredible man you ask? A man so fabulous that my husband not only adores him, but finds him preferable to….me?

about-george-pic-2.jpg

Why do we love George so much? Because we recently purchased (OK, the usual angel music here…laaaaaaaaaaaa…)

grill.jpg

Yup, a George Forman Grill. Now all time will be divided into BGFG (the sad time before the George Forman Grill) and nirvana.

I’m here to say, Oh.My.God. This thing is fabulous. I’m serious. Dinner is no longer reservations. We cook around here. Every single night. Chuck cooks dinner. More often than I do. Chuck reads recipes. He measures, stirs, slices, dices, and whatnot. All so he can cook it on the thing of beauty that is our George Forman Grill. This is a man who, BGFG, cooked maybe five dinners in our entire relationship–13 or so years. And each of those five dinners was Hamburger Helper.

Now salmon, chicken breasts, turkey burgers, steaks, whatever. Anything that can be grilled he cooks.

And damn that food is good. We were never lovers of chicken breast before (too dry). Now we eat it like four nights a week. I’m telling you, anything you wouldn’t eat before because it tended to dry out, cook it on a George Forman Grill and you’ll never look back. And fast, oh man, from ingredients to dinner in less than 30 minutes!

If you don’t have one run, now, to the nearest store that sells them. Get the kind with the removable grill pans. Your life will never be the same again.

October 24, 2004

I Couldn’t Quite Get My Mouth Around This

Filed under: All About Me,Photos,That's Incredible! — Beth @ 5:34 pm

I had some friends over last night for a little dinner/card party. These are friends I’ve had for many, many years. Hilarity and a fair amount of drunken debauchery were involved. Suffice it to say that though I wasn’t hung over this morning, I did wake feeling like I’d been rode hard and put up wet. Perhaps the tequila taste testing had something to do with that, but we can’t be too sure.

Like I said, these are long time friends, and I love them dearly.

I made my famous meatloaf for dinner, because I mean really, who doesn’t love meatloaf? My friend Les volunteered to provide dessert. My other friend Kelli brought a backup dessert because she suspected that Les’ dessert involved coconut and she knows I can’t stand coconut.

Well….Les’ dessert did not involve coconut. No. Coconut would have been a vast improvement over what Les brought. You see, apparently Les is having a Halloween party at his office on Friday and decided we were all to be victims of the trial run of his dessert, kitty litter cake.

And for those of you too lazy (or maybe smart) to go check out that link, here’s a picture of what it looks like. And yes, he served his in a litter pan too:

kittylitter.jpg

Those brown “deposits” are in fact melted tootsie rolls. The appearance was so lifelike it was mind-boggling.

When he unveiled his creation there was much shuddering. As owners of many many kitties I have a thorough knowledge of what a cat box looks like, and I’m here to tell you, he hit the nail on the head. And yes, I knew it was food. I knew what the ingredients were. But I also knew there was no way on this earth that was going anywhere near my mouth.

Thank goodness for that backup dessert.

September 14, 2004

How I Spent My Lunch Hour(ish)

Filed under: All About Me,Angel Music,Photos — Beth @ 4:19 pm

Sing angel music to yourself as you click on the image to make it larger. Laaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Go me! My M1!

May 1, 2004

Better Picture

Filed under: Photos,The Animals — Beth @ 5:33 pm

Well, the old man finally made it home from the tundra with the digital camera. He took some pix of the kittens. And as you can see, yes, they’re still cute (and less mouse-looking with every passing day).


(As always, click to make it bigger.)

Happy five day birthday kitties.

February 27, 2004

A Study In Contrasts

Filed under: Photos,Work Stuff — Beth @ 12:13 pm

Well, it’s Friday, so it must be “Beth’s Day to Rail Against Her Asshole Boss” Day. On this very topic, I am sooooo pleased to report that last Friday he called me at 5:27 with a completely useless question. So, ooooooh, I might have left here 3 minutes early, don’t tell please.

In stark contrast to me, my boss is all about the punishment; and he loves nothing more than rules. I try to look for the good, and there’s nothing I hate more than rules. (Good thing I get to spend more hours with him in any given day/month/year than my husband, the man I love.)

To further illustrate the differences between us, courtesy of my trusty camera phone:

His office:

hisoffice.jpg

My office:

my office.jpg

Have a great weekend.

February 10, 2004

The Air Up Here

Filed under: Photos,Work Stuff — Beth @ 3:17 pm

So in advance of moving my staff up to our new digs on Wednesday night, I took the liberty of moving myself to my fabulous new office. I thought I would share with you what I see from the window right next to my monitor:

my new view.jpg

As always, click on the image to make it larger.

I love this view. From my other window you can see the Hollywood sign.

Yeah, I know….you wanna be me.