Diary of a SubUrban Housewife


May 9, 2005

Das Vadanya

Filed under: MeMe — Beth @ 11:08 pm

Your Inner European is Russian!



Mysterious and exotic.

You’ve got a great balance of danger and allure.

Who’s Your Inner European?

I as secretly hoping I was a Spaniard too, just because I love Spain so much, but I’ll take the mysterious, exotic, dangerous and alluring thing. Thanks Karl.

May 4, 2005

Marital MeMe

Filed under: MeMe — Beth @ 7:13 pm

In my husband’s ongoing quest for international fame and fortune through the internet, he created a meme.

To say that he was “dissapointed” that I had not participated, after doing some many others from so many others with less of a claim on me than he has, would be an understatement.

But to be fair, I had tried. Many times. But apparently I had nothing on my clipboard. Apparently until today.

I Googled and felt lucky and came up with this.

Marital discord will hopefully end now.

April 19, 2005

Freebie Quiz

Filed under: MeMe — Beth @ 4:26 pm

I got to this quiz from seeing someone else’s journal in my referrer log and now I don’t know where it was but I’ll find it and shout out there later. In the meantime, yeah, this is probably on the nose (though I’m not in the market to hook up right now).

April 12, 2005

MeMe

Filed under: MeMe — Beth @ 11:35 pm

You’re stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book would you want to be?

Gone With the Wind. I’d run off with Scarlett to Tara and we’d think about it tomorrow.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?

Yes. I’m in the process of re-reading the Outlander series, by Diana Gabaldon. Jamie Fraser. He’s my man.

The last book you bought is:

I bought three, in anticipation of our recent trip to Mexico. As each was about 1000 pages it was a little ambitious (since we were only going for a week), but I got through two of them. The books purchased (yeah, some of the Outlander series) were Dragonfly in Amber, Voyager, and Drums of Autumn. (I read Dragonfly in Amber and Voyager during our vacation.)

The last book you read:

Voyager.

What are you currently reading?

Drums of Autumn.

I’m listening to something else on CD, but I can’t remember what it’s called. I started it before we went away and haven’t listened for a week but it’s about a woman who lives in the Aspen area who’s a caterer and solves crimes. There’s recipes and lots of good food descriptions. It’s not deathless prose, but it’s great driving listening.

Five books you would take on a desert island:

1. The entire Outlander series. (I’m a little obsessed right night, if you can’t tell). Since it’s a series I’ll count it as one book.
2. Stealing an author from Jim, I’ll go with Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. I love the South American writers – this is deathless prose.
3. Life of Pi by Yann Martel. He’s shipwrecked (and at one point stranded on a deserted island). It’s a good long read and there’s lots of handy life-saving tips.
4. The Birth of Venus by Sarah Dunant and a companion book on the Medici. Birth of Venus is one of the best books I’ve listened to in a very long time. Since I’ll be stranded I may as well imagine I’m living in the time of the Medici in Florence.
5. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens.

OK, I got this meme from Carol but Jim added this question so I’ll answer it:

What book are you ashamed to admit that you haven’t read?

The Bible.

Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 people) and why?

Chuck, because he’s my husband;
Steve, because maybe if I give him something to write about he’ll update his journal;
and Marn, because maybe things are different up in Canada

October 20, 2004

A Glimpse Into My Newest Dirty Secret

Filed under: MeMe — Beth @ 9:07 pm

DHsusan
Congratulations! You are Susan Mayer, the divorcee
and single mom who will go to extraordinary
lengths for love.

Which Desperate Housewife are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

October 6, 2004

More About Me

Filed under: MeMe — Beth @ 3:36 pm

Courtesy of my husband, who shamelessly stole it from Gavin (but steal is such an ugly word).

Just think, if I can find enough of these floating around I may never have to come up with an original thought to post here again.

3 THINGS…

…I am wearing right now

1. Urban Decay brand lipstick, color: fur,
2. my office key ring with eight keys, a mini flashlight, and my building ID, and
3. a black bra.

…on my desk

1. a tub of Olive Body Butter from the Body Shop,
2. a half-full can of Dr. Pepper, and
3. a can of WD 40.

…I want to do before I die

1. travel more,
2. live in a foreign country, and
3. win the lottery.

…good things about my personality

1. I’m thoughtful,
2. kind, and
3. caring.

…bad things about my personality

1. I’m petulant,
2. can be passive agressive, and
3. totally bitchy.

…I like about my body

1. my mouth,
2. my eyes, and
3. my breasts.

…I don’t like about my body

1. my butt,
2. my thighs, and
3. the fact that everything is a bit lower than it was 20 years ago.

…most people don’t know about me

1. I have been a bridesmaid or maid of honor at least five times,
2. I get a manicure every two weeks, and a pedicure every three, and
3. I have a good voice for phone sex (if I was inclined to go that route).

…I say the most

1. hon,
2. yes dear, and
3. fuck you, I mean I love you.

…I want to go to

1. China,
2. Australia, and
3. back to the Caribbean.

…names that I go by

1. Beth
2. Bethifer
3. Honey

…screen names I have had

1. Peg
2. Mrs. Blandings
3. Pinonetta

October 5, 2004

200 Things

Filed under: All About Me,MeMe — Beth @ 3:41 pm

The ones I’ve done are in bold. Courtesy of One to the Nth Power:

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula.
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said ˜I love you” and meant it

09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease

11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watched the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game

17. Walked the stairs to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten my own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby’s diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight

33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip

38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Rode on a roller coaster

42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking

45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced

52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip

59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Benchpressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers

74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theater

80. Done something you should regret, but don’t regret it.
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn’t have

94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Rode a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on

103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
105. Got flowers for no reason
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Got so drunk you don’t remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas

111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night stand

114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Siouxsie live
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently

122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read – and understood – your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congress person
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over

134. …more than once? – More than thrice?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion or your female partner did

138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone’s heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Rode on a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Rode a horse
158. Had major surgery
159. Had sex on a moving train

160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169. Been a sperm or egg donor
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad
181. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183. …and gotten 86′ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196: Dyed your hair
197: Been a DJ
198: Found out someone was going to dump you via Blogger
199: Written your own role playing game
200: Been arrested

May 27, 2004

Clearly a Slow Day at the Office

Filed under: MeMe,Politics — Beth @ 1:41 pm

Do you have the guts to take the honest bloggers-only quiz?

1. Which political party do you typically agree with? Democratic, usually.

2. Which political party do you typically vote for? Democrat

3. List the last five presidents that you voted for? Anderson, Dukakis, Clinton, Clinton, Gore (I think about the Dukakis and Anderson, certainly Clinton, Clinton, Gore are right.)

4. Which party do you think is smarter about the economy? Neither.

5. Which party do you think is smarter about domestic affairs? Democratic.

6. Do you think we should keep our troops in Iraq or pull them out? Pull them out now!

7. Who, or what country, do you think is most responsible for 9/11? Osama Bin Laden or the CIA.

8. Do you think we will find weapons of mass destruction in iraq? No.

9. Yes or no, should the u.s. legalize marijuana? YES!

10. Do you think the republicans stole the last presidental election? Yes.

11. Do you think Bill Clinton should have been impeached because of what he did with Monica Lewinski? No.

12. Do you think Hillary Clinton would make a good president? Yes.

13. Name a current democrat who would make a great president. Howard Dean.

14. Name a current republican who would make a great president. No.

15. Do you think that women should have the right to have an abortion? Absolutely yes.

16. What religion are you? Born and raised Jewish, practicing nothing, but old habits die hard.

17. Have you read the Bible all the way through? No.

18. What’s your favorite book? Birth of Venus right now, but this changes.

19. Who is your favorite band? Nickleback

20. Who do you think you’ll vote for president in the next election? Kerry.

21. What website did you see this on first? Beth’s Contradictory Brain (I saw it as a referral in someone else’s blog and had to check it out cuz she’s got a fabulous name, but clearly very different viewpoints from my own.)

Part II

1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog? First of all, not bloody likely I’d be recognized, but no.

2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered? Only for cropping and minor details. Any picture you see of me is what I look like, though I’d never let anyone post a bad picture of me.

3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you? Hasn’t ever happened but I’d say no.

4. Do you lie in your blog? Short answer no. But let’s remember it’s a report from my perspective.

5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog? Probably.

6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop? No, not my style.

7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping? No, maybe, does not apply.

8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones? No.

9. Have you ever rubbed one out while reading a blog? How about after? No and no.

10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less? Probably like me more.

11. Do you have a job? Yes.

12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it? Where do i sign up?

13. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life? If I could only pick one probably Maggie, but in reality, everyone on my links list.

14. How many bloggers have you made out with? One.

15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have? Probably more money.

16. Does your family read your blog? Husband does. Daughter doesn’t. If anyone else in my extended family does they’ve never told me and that’s a really big no-no.

17. How old is your blog? This blog is about a year old, but my online journaling days date back to 1999.

18. Do you get more than 1000 pageviews per day? Do you care? No and no.

19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar? No, if I feel those things and care to share them, I feel free to do so in my blog.

20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing? Does my husband count?

21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes? Does not apply.

22. Is blogging narcissistic? Probably.

23. Do you feel guilty when you don’t post for a long time? Yes.

24. Do you like John Mayer? Yes.

25. Do you have enemies? In real life, yes, here, none that have identified themselves.

26. Are you lonely? No.

27. Why bother? Why not.

February 26, 2004

A Little About Me

Filed under: MeMe — Beth @ 10:22 pm

Well, no real news to report, so I thought I’d let you know a little bit about me. (Ummmm…that partner thing…not so much.)

Your Sexual Profile (you sexual deviant you…) by sparkledee
Name
Your Secret Kink Thing Hiding things.(Look!No hands)
Your Sexual Strength Your amazing tongue!!
Your Sexual Weakness Your partner never orgasms.
Your Likely STD Lymphogranuloma Venereum
How Many Partners in Crime? Orgies count as many…SLUT!
Created with quill18‘s MemeGen 2.0!

Thanks Joe.

February 20, 2004

Isn’t It Ironic?

Filed under: MeMe — Beth @ 9:12 am

Read any good books lately?



You’re Catch-22!
by Joseph Heller
Incredibly witty and funny, you have a taste for irony in all that you
see. It seems that life has put you in perpetually untenable situations, and your sense
of humor is all that gets you through them. These experiences have also made you an
ardent pacifist, though you present your message with tongue sewn into cheek. You
could coin a phrase that replaces the word "paradox" for millions of
people.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.