Diary of a SubUrban Housewife

I’m a single girl this week. Zoe is off on a three day class trip to Astro Camp and, as Chuck has diligently reported, he’s on a grand tour of the armpits of the east coast. So, for the last few days, and for a few more precious hours, I’m a single girl — or as single as I can get with 10 pets.

So, as part of my single girl thing, went to The Standard tonight, to meet a friend who was having a little drinks party on the rooftop bar. I was excited about everything about the evening, except that her little soiree required that I drive downtown tonight in rush hour traffic. And to make matters worse, the CD changer in my car went on the fritz this afternoon, so I was going to sit in traffic (ugh) with no book (double ugh). (The horribleness of the CD player breaking in my five month old Lexus is another story for another time.)

But I was intrepid and did not cancel my plans despite the traffic and audio issues. I hit the road and tuned into NPR

I love NPR. I love All Things Considered. I will especially always love NPR if for no other reason than Cokie Roberts.

I heard a story tonight that touched me very deeply. So deeply in fact that I made a note of it and re-listened to it when I got home tonight. And I want to share it with you.

The report was about geneticists who are working to identify the remains of victims of Hurricaine Katrina. Many of the volunteers who are working on this project volunteered after September 11th to help identify remains. However, unlike vicitms of the World Trade Center tragedy who had families, homes, and belongings that scientists could use to get DNA, Hurricaine Katrina victims, more often than not, had nothing left.

So tracking down famility members to get DNA samples is an arduous process.

But apparently not without its rewards.

In the wake of Hurricane Katrina, as you know, thousands and thousands were reported missing. And in light of the situation at the time and for the weeks that followed, assuming the worst was not unreasonable. But eight months have now passed, and while scientists are hoping to provide closure for some families, sometimes there’s another story.

Because sometimes those missing people have been found.

But they’re still in the registries of missing people.

And when the volunteers call families with the sad task of requesting DNA samples for possible closure, often they are told that the presumed missing family members have been found. And when a volunteer gets that wonderful news, he or she gets to ring a bell, so that all the other volunteers know that one more person has been found and is alive and well.

I fear I have not done justice to this story. Click on this link to listen for yourself. And hope that as you’re listening someone is getting to ring the bell again.

In case you missed the big announcement here, you can now hear me and the old man over at No Soap Radio.

Is there a web frontier we haven’t crossed?????

I recently purchased the Feature Comforts 40″ Oscillating Tower Fan. At the risk of being total dork-girl, this is the most fabulous fan ever invented! (OK, it looks exactly like this one but it’s a different brand and it’s not an ionizer.)

If you look at the picture you can see it’s got a sleek tower type design, so it’s fashion-forward, and we all know how important that is.

But here are the fabulous things about this fan:
1. It has a remote control. I believe any appliance is drastically improved when it comes with a remote control. Chuck will think this is fabulous too, since on nights too numerous to count, I have asked him to get out of bed to turn our bedroom fan on.
2. It’s quiet. Nothing but a pleasant hummmmmm, compared to the wind tunnel noise my current bedroom fan has.
3. Did I mention it has a remote control?
4. It’s got lots of speeds and things that you can work, all from the fablous remote control.
5. It doesn’t take up a lot of floor space.

I got this thing of beauty to put in my home office, because though the house has central air, it still gets stuffy in here. And besides, it is more energy efficient to run the a/c at a higher temp and augmet it with fans. And I’m all about energy efficiency.

I’ve had the fan for a couple of months now, but it hasn’t really been hot. Until today. I whipped the fan out of the box and commenced assembling it. It was then that I realized it has a REMOTE CONTROL. OK, it says there’s a remote on the box now that I’m examining it, but I don’t think I realized it when I bought it. Because had I known a remote control was involved I’d have bought three of these puppies. Because you know, we really need more remote controls.

Anyway, about the fan: major angel music happening here. Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

If you’re in the market for a faboo fan, take your tush over to Lowes immediately and get three of them. You won’t be sorry.

There’s that old expression, when life serves you lemons, make lemonade.

As is true with all old expressions, it’s often easier said than done. And while it’s do-able, I guess what separates us from the animals (besides our ability to accessorize) and from each other, is that some of us do it with style and grace. Or maybe I should say Grace.

Because that is exactly what the birthday vixen, GraceDavis has done.

Last holiday season GraceDavis got some hate mail. In response to the hate mail on two separate occasions, for each and every comment Grace got in her blog, she donated her own personal money to the Matthew Shepard Foundation and Planned Parenthood.

Well once again GraceDavis is being plagued by asshats. And what do you suppose GraceDavis, on the eve of her 50th birthday, is doing about this?

Well once again GraceDavis is reaching deep into her own personal pockets and donating money in exchange for comments. Why do I tell you this?

For two reasons.

1. Because I think it is one of the most selfless things I’ve seen anyone do in a very long time.

and

2. Because this time in exchange for every comment Grace receives in response to this entry, posted before midnight on Friday, she will be donating $1 (and this is on top of her already extremely generous personal donation) to my upcoming participation in the Avon Breast Cancer Marathon.

I was so deeply touched by this that when I read about it this morning I cried.

All this to say three things:

1. Happy 50th Grace dearest.

2. Thank you.

3. If you haven’t already done so, go go go, quick like a bunny and read her blog. Comment if you like, but mostly go read her blog.

I followed a link from the always fabulous Manolo to this. Snarkywood may very well be my offical new most favorite place on the entire www.

There’s a new man in my life.

He makes everything hot, moist, and juicy. He’s so fabulous that, not only does my husband love him too, but my husband uses him–almost every single day. Sometimes twice a day.

Who is this incredible man you ask? A man so fabulous that my husband not only adores him, but finds him preferable to….me?

Why do we love George so much? Because we recently purchased (OK, the usual angel music here…laaaaaaaaaaaa…)

Yup, a George Forman Grill. Now all time will be divided into BGFG (the sad time before the George Forman Grill) and nirvana.

I’m here to say, Oh.My.God. This thing is fabulous. I’m serious. Dinner is no longer reservations. We cook around here. Every single night. Chuck cooks dinner. More often than I do. Chuck reads recipes. He measures, stirs, slices, dices, and whatnot. All so he can cook it on the thing of beauty that is our George Forman Grill. This is a man who, BGFG, cooked maybe five dinners in our entire relationship–13 or so years. And each of those five dinners was Hamburger Helper.

Now salmon, chicken breasts, turkey burgers, steaks, whatever. Anything that can be grilled he cooks.

And damn that food is good. We were never lovers of chicken breast before (too dry). Now we eat it like four nights a week. I’m telling you, anything you wouldn’t eat before because it tended to dry out, cook it on a George Forman Grill and you’ll never look back. And fast, oh man, from ingredients to dinner in less than 30 minutes!

If you don’t have one run, now, to the nearest store that sells them. Get the kind with the removable grill pans. Your life will never be the same again.

It is with great sadness that I announce that my girl Stacy was booted off the SI Swimsuit Model Competition. She made it to the final three so go her.

I will admit, that though she had a “look” she totally blew it in the clinch–the final photo shoot in Bora Bora.

So Stacy and her oversized mouth, undersized breasts, and enormous Midwest account will toddle back to South St. Paul. But do not worry for my girl. She will probably breeze through her half of the Twin Cities on her way directly to fame and fortune.

My new pick: Alicia. She’s very smoky. Chuck has changed horses too and is now all about Shannon. We’ll see.

Since DVR technology became part of daily life here at Rancho Atkins some six years ago, the amount of television I/we watch has been drastically reduced. Rarely will I sit down and peruse what’s on, or in Chuck’s case, what else is on.

With our TiVO (and it’s predecessor the Dish Player) the programs we like are recorded. When I’m inclined to sit down and watch some tube I choose from a pre-recorded selection of things I know I like, and I watch something.

The plus side of this is that I have stuff waiting for me that I know I like, the minus (and whether or not it’s a minus is still debatable) is that unless I see a commercial or hear or read some buzz, I don’t often add new things to my viewing repetoire.

Until last Wednesday that is.

Last Wednesday at around 8:00 Zoe was taking a shower in my bathroom. While she lathered, rinsed, and repeated, I lounged in bed and watched actual live television. If I had to, I could not have told you what my possible viewing choices were going to be, as the only thing I normally watch on Wednesday’s is West Wing, and that starts at 9:00.

So I surfed. And lo, what did I find?

Play angel music in your head as you read this…..

Yes, I found The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Search.

The basic premise is that there are 12 unknown model-wannabe’s who compete in physical fitness/workout challenges; get makeovers and/or tips; and do photoshoots. At the end of each episode some of the girls are eliminated. The winner of the competition will be in the next Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model issue and get a million dollar modeling contract.

I’m here to tell you, this is one of the best hours of television you can hope to ever watch. Intrigue, beauty, backstabbing, and silicone breasts. It’s got everything.

I’m alternately sickened and thrilled that I a) found this show, and b) love it so much.

I love it so much that after last week I had to run into the family room and set the TiVO to get a season pass .

And tonight was Wednesday. And I got to watch. And I made Chuck watch with me. We’ve each picked our favorite girl. I’m all about Stacy. Chuck’s girl is Alicia.

Go to the website. Pick your favorite model wanna-be. Tell me who she is. Go, cheer the girls on. I’m taking Stacy to the end!

I will seek and find you.
I shall take you to bed and have my way with you.
I will make you ache, shake, and sweat until you moan and groan.
I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I’m finished with you.
And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.

All my love,
The Flu

A HUGE SubUrban shoutout to our man in Israel, for the two newest additions to my list of regular haunts over there on the right, Manolo’s Shoe Blog, and Go Fug Yourself.

Only click on those links if you, like me, are super fantastic!

Thank you David. (I’m only a little scared at how on the money you are at knowing how much I’d love these sites.)