I'm all about random acts of kindness. But in my world there is a hard and fast rule for such acts. You see, I believe that if you perform an act of kindness, no matter the size, if you tell the recepient of said act, that act then becomes null and void. My thinking is this: One should perform an act of kindness for the sheer selflessness of it all. When you start sharing that you did it, it then becomes about getting "credit" for having done so, thus removing the "selfless" portion of the equation.
Along with my acts of kindness rule, is the don't brag about church rule. People who brag about going to church nullify their attendance because it then becomes about getting credit for being godly versus the act of communicating with your maker/higher power/overlord (or insert the word of your choice). You see I think the whole god relationship is a very personal one and one that should not be necessarily shared with others. I think "bragging" about it diminishes the whole thing.
I feel the same way about people who say, "I'll pray for you". This one really sticks in my craw. I have major religion issues in the first place, and this does not help. The mere thought of praying for someone else is, on the face of it, completely selfless, but sharing that you either do it, did it, or are going to do it, circles back to the "getting credit" issue.
So it all boils down to this:
1. Do nice things for other people. Often. But do things because you want to and never share that you did so.
If you're lucky enough to be around when the person makes the discovery of your act, you will be amazed at how good you feel in just sharing in their happiness at the discovery of your (secret) act. And you will know for the future, if you're not there at the moment of discovery, that you really made someones minute, hour, day, week, or year.
2. Go ahead and worship at the alter of your choice, but do not brag about it. It's profoundly unseemly.
3. Knock yourself out praying for other people. But only share with your god (see #2 above for the unseemly factor).
Posted by beth at September 13, 2004 06:53 PMI'm not praying for you at this very moment.
Posted by: Mr. Amaya at September 13, 2004 10:25 PMWell, i was praying that you'd update your journal, but that's between me and my god, tyvm.
Posted by: beth at September 13, 2004 11:19 PMA journal. I had a journal? Oh yeah. Good times, if memory serves. Wow.
Beth, as you well know, I have the strength of ten men, and in these past several weeks this resource has been tested, stretched, spindled, One Hour Martinized and tickled by rhino horn. It is only now that I'm able to release my attention to the spinning plates of life, to breathe, to once again close my eyes and think of England.
Journal. Yes. It was called Condensation or some such silly name wasn't it. Well, I vow to do my utmost to stop the time-bleed into the realm of the pale and sporadic and hop right on that. This Autumn for sure!
Posted by: Mr. Amaya at September 14, 2004 03:32 PMWell, I agree with you up to the part about the "I'll pray for (you/him/her/etc)..."
This one is all about "context".
Context One: You are doing something that your "PrayPal" does not agree with.
In this context, not only is is "getting credit", it has the added rudeness of "doing for you" where you are "wrong". Obnoxiousness (hey, I just created a new word), at it's worst.
Context Two: You are suffering through a hard time (in my personal case, my mother having cancer and my father passing away).
In this context, the "PrayPal" is not necessarily trying to get "credit" for it (YMMV depending on the person), but using the acknowledgement to inform you of their "support" often during a time where "words" do not seem to do enough to convey how much they care and want to be there for you. In this case, I think that they don't deserve to have their credit "nullified"
Of course I could be wrong... My wife almost always thinks I am. But afterall, I am only just... An Ordinary Joe
Posted by: An Ordinary Joe at September 15, 2004 07:22 AMBeth! You are Chuck's wife! Your blog is cool!
I shall link to you anon.
I agree in the "no telling" rule. I have a little way to celebrate Martin Luther King's Birthday every year. I do a good deed to someone anonymously, and don't tell anyone.
But ... maybe I'm negating that by even telling that I ... oops. Nevermind.
Posted by: Jim at September 27, 2004 03:04 PMHi Jim. Yes, I am Chuck's wife. Funny how that goes. Welcome to my world.
Well, while my rules are pretty straight-forward, there is room for interpretation, so it seems your act of kindness is still in the plus column.
Posted by: beth at September 27, 2004 06:20 PMAnd Joe, I did not mean to not reply to your comment.
When people offer their prayers during a personal crisis, it can fall under the category of offering support so I guess we'll cut those people some slack; particularly if the recipient of said comment finds it comforting.
See above for the whole interpretation factor.