Most people have a “List”. Ross made the concept of “The List” famous in that episode of Friends where he ran into Isabella Rossellini, who, as I recall had been on his list and he bumped her, and then foolishly told her that. Comedy ensued.
I too have a list. And probably #1 with a bullet (tied with Colin Firth) is Goran Visnjic. Every Thursday night I get to gaze into his eyes and admire his crooked smile. I positively swoon. Well, it’s Tuesday night and imagine my surprise when I had the opportunity to swoon at him live and in person at the vet’s office.
Please bear with me as a have a personal moment now.
Clearly I have wayyyyy too much time on my hands because sometimes my mind goes to truly bizarre places. Case in point:
I was at the supermarket this morning. On the cover of one of those checkout rags I love to read was a photo of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (who I almost referred to as “that bit of fluff he’s with” until her name came to me in a flash). The headline was: THEY’RE SPLIT. Now I already knew this because I read in Yahoo news how their publicists were very busy denying this rumor earlier in the week when news of the cover story leaked.
History tells us (see Nick and Jessica and Bennifer I) that once these rumors crop up and denials start flying, it’s only a matter of time until these relationships implode and they really are over (don’t tell me you’re not counting the days for Brittany Spears and K-Fed).
So this is what I have come up with on the whole TomKat thing. Feel free to spread this rumor. No need to give me credit.
Notice how Katie’s been absent from the media (with the exception of a few soccer outings). She is not really pregnant. It’s all been a clever (or maybe not so clever) plan involving pillows of varying sizes. The TomKat thing is going to implode in a matter of weeks. Katie will walk off into the sunset. Tom will go on to make many more bad movies, and spout more Scientology mumbo jumbo.
I won’t even address the whole “Isn’t Tom gay?” thing. I’ll save that for another day.
No need to thank me. Just remember: you heard it here first.