Diary of a SubUrban Housewife

October 31, 2004

Do You Get What You Pay For?

Filed under: Webishness — Beth @ 12:29 pm

As Chuck reported some time ago, we went for a very long time with free internet service. Then Chuck’s morals got the better of him and he signed us up for “new” service.

The thing is, when our service was free it worked like a charm. We’d have occasional outages (typically when it rained) but we’d go down for a minute for so every few months; otherwise it was smooth as silk. OK, maybe not the fastest connection on the block, but certainly adequate.

So now we pay for our service. And when we pay for it we want ripping fast, dependable, service. But Chuck is on the phone to them, at least once a day, because our service is down. Or so slow it may as well be down.

Finally, they sent a technician out last week. The tech did some kind of voodoo dance and whatnot. We were assured things would be better.

Alas not.

Then yesterday, after we went down again, and Chuck called again, tech support told him to go and exchange the modem for another one–a different brand. The tech support guy said we had the Volkswagon of modems and to exchange it for the Ferrari. We went to the cable company (fodder for an entry in and of itself) and they told us they only supply this one type of modem (the VW-type, not the Ferrari) and that the tech support was probably talking about another service provider (??????????…..ummm…..excuse me??????????).

We get home and Chuck plugs in the new modem, talks to tech support, they wave their magic wands, and poof and we’re up again.

Until this morning. When we went down again.

So Chuck called again. Apparently there were configuration issues or something. So we’re back up. For now.

But we always get back up after the call. It’s the fact that he has to call every stinkin day.

At least when it was free it worked.

October 28, 2004

I Told You So

Filed under: My Old Man — Beth @ 4:54 pm

As Chuck reported last week, our furnace has been on the fritz. While in Chuck’s entry he is more the hero, and he stated the facts as they appeared at that very moment, a key part of the story was left out.

But vindication is mine and I offered him the opportunity to post and entry stating the facts. It has now been two hours and nothing has shown up over there and I have a lull in work and now feel the need to tell what really happened.

Yes, our heater was out. Chuck called me at work to tell me this. And, because my powers stretch far and wide, I guess he figured I was going to be able to do something about it from the office, approximately 17 miles from home. Well, while my powers are super fantastic, alas I could do nothing until I got home from work.

We opened the furnace closet, read the directions, and attempted to restart the pilot. It lit, but only for a second and then sputtered out. The furnace closet, being outside, was absolutely filled with spiders and spider webs. My diagnosis of why furnace doesn’t work: spiders in the gas line.

It was I who arranged for the service people to come the next day. I was also the one who knew that the new flux capacitor (or whatever the hell they said it needed) was not a $500 part, but maybe a $100 part, and I told Chuck that if they said that it was the flux capacitor and it was more than $100 don’t do it. So we didn’t have it done.

We never got around to ordering the part online but I did talk to the guy who does service on my A/C system at the office. He agreed to send someone over today.

Well, the service guy arrives with the new flux capacitor, but in testing the old one, discovers that it is not in fact broken. He then toddled over the the plumbing/heating supply store, buys some stuff and does some things. Alas, the heater is still not working.

Then he disengages one of the lines and blows through it. Do you know what came out of the line? Yup. One bigass spider. Line reconnected. Furnace now working.

So yeah, I said it was spiders. I was scoffed. But I was right. And while it is often better to be kind than right, in this case, not so much. I’m right. And I’ll be warm tonight.

October 26, 2004

And While I’m Issuing Mad Props

Filed under: Fabulous Stuff,Webishness — Beth @ 8:02 pm

A HUGE SubUrban shoutout to our man in Israel, for the two newest additions to my list of regular haunts over there on the right, Manolo’s Shoe Blog, and Go Fug Yourself.

Only click on those links if you, like me, are super fantastic!

Thank you David. (I’m only a little scared at how on the money you are at knowing how much I’d love these sites.)

High Five

Filed under: Uncategorized — Beth @ 7:31 pm

A big high-five to whoever controls the weather and saw fit to wait until I got home from work tonight before starting the downpour which me is making me rethink my transportation from Volvo to possibly Ark.


October 24, 2004

I Couldn’t Quite Get My Mouth Around This

Filed under: All About Me,Photos,That's Incredible! — Beth @ 5:34 pm

I had some friends over last night for a little dinner/card party. These are friends I’ve had for many, many years. Hilarity and a fair amount of drunken debauchery were involved. Suffice it to say that though I wasn’t hung over this morning, I did wake feeling like I’d been rode hard and put up wet. Perhaps the tequila taste testing had something to do with that, but we can’t be too sure.

Like I said, these are long time friends, and I love them dearly.

I made my famous meatloaf for dinner, because I mean really, who doesn’t love meatloaf? My friend Les volunteered to provide dessert. My other friend Kelli brought a backup dessert because she suspected that Les’ dessert involved coconut and she knows I can’t stand coconut.

Well….Les’ dessert did not involve coconut. No. Coconut would have been a vast improvement over what Les brought. You see, apparently Les is having a Halloween party at his office on Friday and decided we were all to be victims of the trial run of his dessert, kitty litter cake.

And for those of you too lazy (or maybe smart) to go check out that link, here’s a picture of what it looks like. And yes, he served his in a litter pan too:


Those brown “deposits” are in fact melted tootsie rolls. The appearance was so lifelike it was mind-boggling.

When he unveiled his creation there was much shuddering. As owners of many many kitties I have a thorough knowledge of what a cat box looks like, and I’m here to tell you, he hit the nail on the head. And yes, I knew it was food. I knew what the ingredients were. But I also knew there was no way on this earth that was going anywhere near my mouth.

Thank goodness for that backup dessert.

October 21, 2004

Another Typical Day

Filed under: Uncategorized — Beth @ 3:06 pm

An actual phone conversation I had today:

Co-Worker: Goodmorning
Me: Goodmorning
Co-Worker: You don’t happen to have an extra pair of black high heels in your office I could borrow, do you?
Me: In fact I do, come on over.

October 20, 2004

A Glimpse Into My Newest Dirty Secret

Filed under: MeMe — Beth @ 9:07 pm

Congratulations! You are Susan Mayer, the divorcee
and single mom who will go to extraordinary
lengths for love.

Which Desperate Housewife are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

October 13, 2004

Tis Nearly the Season

Filed under: Family Stuff — Beth @ 2:10 pm

As Chuck and I do not share the same faith, we Atkins’ celebrate nearly any holiday that involves gift giving. And as internet junkies, we do a fair amount of this shopping either online directly or place our catalogue orders online. As a result, we get dozens, perhaps hundreds, of catalogues on a regular basis.

For my own personal amusement I have started a new feature over there on the right, Catalogue Watch 2004. Starting today I will update that area with the number of catalogues we receive between now and December 25.

That tally will not include the dozens of fabulous offers I receive daily in my e-mail because I just don’t think there’s a number high enough to include all of that.

Keep track yourself and let me know how you’re doing compared to me.

October 11, 2004

The Perfect Word

Filed under: Uncategorized — Beth @ 12:10 am

Monsieur le Evaporation stopped by the casa this afternoon, on his way over to Carol‘s house. The hub and spawn were off at some fair at my mother in law’s church, leaving me and El Steve home alone.

While we could have opted for an afternoon of hot, steamy, extramarital sex, we took it in a different direction. We chatted. For a nice long time.

Though I’ve known Steve for about six years now, I’m going to have to figure this as the first time our respective spouses have trusted us to be alone together. Silly them. But I digress.

We talked of many things. We laughed. We cried.

But at one point in the conversation I was referring to the global you. You know….the more than one you. The you meaning everyone. And I was once again slapped in the face with the fact that English does not have a word for this concept. Texans do: all y’all. (Cuz you know that old joke, what’s the plural of y’all? All y’all.) But I’m not a y’all kinda girl.

So instead of saying all y’all I said ustedes. And Mr. Amaya, being the fine Mexican that he is, completely grasped my concept.

(For those of you non-Spanish speakers, ustedes is the plural you–basically all y’all.)

English really needs a proper word for this concept. Submissions being accepted.

October 9, 2004


Filed under: Boobies!,Donate! — Beth @ 5:42 pm

I am pleased and proud to announce that I am once again in a participant in the Blogger Boobie Thon, with proceeds going to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.

Go and have a look. Enjoy yourself.

And while you’re at it, make a donation to this very worthwhile cause. Breast cancer has touched my life and the life of nearly every person I know, in one way or another. Make a difference; I’m hoping my boobs will.

And I’ll gladly share mine with you if they can help to spare someone elses.

And as a special added bonus this year, if you make a donation and guess which boobs are mine, I will send you a copy of the picture of my boobs (bra optional for donations over $100).

But you better hurry cuz I was late getting this up this year and I think you only have until tomorrow to donate through the site.

P.S. Go here and click to help give free mammograms.